Hell hath not no fury, Heaven hath no scorn. Or something to that effect.

She struts down the school corridor, imagining that this is her stage, and she is the fantastic model with the great sexy body, doing the catwalk, donning the latest trends from Jose, the latest fashion designer based in Spain. She is well aware of all eyes, particularly the males' eyes, watching hawk-eyed at her, and she struts even more vigorously, with her hands strategically placed on the tough handsome lad's arm. She knows she's got the crowd. Now all she has to do, is ensure that she has their attention until the end of the runway, which ends at the lockers area. So, now how does she go about it?

She flashes her mega-watt smile, and that is a fake, considering that she has actually sought dental treatment from one of the best dentists in Beverly Hills, and she knows they are stunning. She flaunts her legs, counting, 1, 2, 3,4. Every single movement is neatly rythmic, she's got it all, and she knows it.

But deep down, not many know about her past. Her relationship which she shared with the male model strutting down the runway with her. She has kept it in the dark, and she is damn good at it. She does not reveal anything, and one can almost say that "Oh, it's a pity she does not have any guy that is interested in her." But in reality, she cannot vouch for that. For she is always turning down the men she meets, for fear that they might not be happy when they learnt of her past. It was an ugly past. A past void of love, feelings, and food. Yes, food. She was a thin skinny broomstick-like child, and she was not happy about it, because in school, they called her, "The Straw." It was only after graduating from junior college, that she found her confidence to rise up and be among the best, when she got called up from a famous modelling agency. She had never wanted to choose this path, but she felt that this was the only way she could get back to her the people who called her "The Straw." One could almost say that this is a foolish and rash idea, but she did it anyway. Now, she's earning more bucks than any ordinary banker, lawyer, or even doctor. She is the diva, and she knows it.

However, money comes with a cost. She had to leave with her dear hometown to 'seek a living'. It was a politically correct answer, though it is beyond reasonable doubt. The world which she lives in now is a dystopia, though much would dismiss it as a utopia instead. There's no love. There's lots of hatred, jealousy and anger bubbling beneath.

She doesn't know how long she can pull this through. All she has to do now is to sit and wait for Fate to come rolling by.

And she still has not tell others about her past.

P.S. If you guys do not understand the short extract, that's fine. Cos it was written in a midst of anger and jealousy on the writer's part. The writer is not feeling sane at the moment, and she begs you readers to pardon her language and expression errors, as well as spelling mistakes on the way. Thank you.

I need some eneryg-booster. My energy's running out, and I'm not very sure that I can last until November. The prospect of attaining something that is so close yet so far is exhausting. I wanna drop everything and anything, and sleep till November, but I know that's not possible. Some times, I just felt like a candle burning out slowly, for the lack of oxygen. Other times, I felt relaxed, and I know that I can do it. But I'm afraid. Of failing. Of disappointing the many people who have stood by me. I need some light, please. I know I'm not the only one who is going through all these, I know many who are in the same boat. I know we can do this, and we can only do it when we stand by each other. And consult the teachers. I know it's gonna be a tough journey ahead, but let's just brace ourselves for it. We haven't got a choice. We have to do this, otherwise, we are just wasting two years of our lives here. Then, that hits me.

Berani buat, berani tanggung. I just gotta face the strong waves in front of me. I ain't got a choice.

So yesterday, me went to RJ (my gawd, the building was HUGE that AJ pales in comparison like by so much) to watch Othello. I was expecting the play to be fantastic, but I would rate it a 6 out of 10, mostly because they memorized the chunks and chunks of lines, and I know that isn't easy, since, well, I'm doing Othello for the A's. And also because some of them managed to pull off the evil, pathetic, foul-mouthed, spit-saliva-mouthed characters, and of course, cute cute Bianca squeaking and jumping up and down Cassio. Overall, there wasn't any props, but I think I can pardon them, since they wanted to recreate the Shakespeare atmosphere with a SEAsian twist (Java, to be exact) in the Globe Theatre, only that they call it the Amphitheatre. Ok, whatever that means. So, besides that, there were lots of talking and less of the actions, me thinks. Like how amazing it is that these Rafflesians shoot off their script at the speed of a gun vomitting bullets rather than truly 'feeling' the lines. I think it's more of a superficial act, though convincing, but still, overall, it was a job well done by the educated elites, so there you have it! Plus, plus, Cassio's really cute. Me thinks his name is Darren, or something. Good-looks+Brains+Body=HOT STUFF! Ahahah...I wasn't the only one who said that. :) :)

And today, when I was sitting with one of my math mates, Sri's friend came over. I can't help thinking, "My gawd, how nerdy he is!" But when I really saw his face, like when he effortlessly did the functions question in less than a minute (when I could have spent minutes on it), he looks really, erm, I've never said this of a science student before, but, he's kinda cute. In a nerdy sort of way, if you get what I mean. I realised he's got a nice tan, and looks like a good schoolboy who rather hangs around his house instead of going wild on the streets. Haha...I've never particularly admired a science freak student, but this guy, he's different.

If you get what I mean. :) :) :)

I always have a fun time whenever I'm with Nad. Seriously, she brings forth aptly the idea of cheap thrill, no matter how lame it is. Well, it's supposed to be lame, duh. So anyways, today's idea of cheap thrill is watching over this MRT hunk, whom we presumed to be Malay because his skin is really like a Malay's. :) During the train ride from Yio Chu Kang to Sembawang, I actually noticed him awake, and he was staring at people around him, among which, Nad and I were in that circle, so yeah. And I noticed that he had a really intense stare whenever he looks at people. I mean, look at it this way, even when he sleeps, he "looks intense", according to Nad's words. So there we were, from Woodlands to Choa Chu Kang, staring at a sleeping guy, admiring his chiselled features, that oh-so-sexy-and-appealing body length and the veins from the arms, and the long lanky legs, and that muscular physique, and that oh-so-alluring hair (though come to think of it, I can't remember what's so alluring about it) and that really nice intense sleep with that eyebrows scrunched at the top of his forehead. I tell you, I have never observed a guy sleep before, observed closely, that is, and I have to admit it, this guy beats all the sleeping hunks out there, I tell you. Simply irresistable to look at, and of course, Nad can vouch for that, can't you, hun?

Apart from the MRT hunk (which Nad and I hoped we would be able to see him again), there was the fact that I had to do a scorpion plait on 3 different girls, 2 on my classmates, and one on Deebz. Really. I'm not complaining, in fact, I'm honoured, but, say, 3 plaits within 2 hours? Woah. That's quite an achievement, isn't it, my laydees? Anyways, Michelle has appointed me her hairstylist, since she's (according to Momo) the Next Lankiest Nude Top Model. Hahah...Sometimes, I wonder, what have I done to deserve wacky classmates like these?

Did any of you guys read the papers recently? There was this really short passage, or rather, article, about the monsoon season that is going to hit Asia really soon. It's called the La Nina monsoon season. Or I think it's the La Nina winds, or something to that effect. So anyways, this La Nina force is used to hitting the Americas and the area around that part of the world, but somehow, it's coming to Asia! Scientists are speculating that the La Nina force will be weak here, but I won't take any chances. If it rains in the morning, I'll have to bring my sandals along, like I did when I was in primary school, and wear them on the puddles! Whee! Or maybe I should get those pretty goulashes, which are so adorable and are going for 45 bucks at some place I can't remember where. Hehe...Rain=Snow in Singapore. Whee wooo!!! Like my conscience is singing, "Rain rain, come again, don't go away and leave me dry..." Ahaha..maybe that song doesn't exist after all.

But then again, rejoice y'all! The RAIN's here!!!

And Nithya darling finally taught me what is the meaning of conventional rain. No wonder I saw leaves flying all over the place. It was spectacular, I tell you..

:) :) :)

Whew! What a week it has been! Lots of consultations, lots of timed practices, lots of staying back in school till 7, and of course, lots of bumping into certain groups of people whom I wished never existed. Hark! Assignments have not really come rolling in, for some weird reason, and the reason is prolly because they want us to have some self-study period for ourselves, which is somewhat humanely impossible if you get home in the evening. So, haha, nice give and take, yo teachers! And zomg, I hate the GP paper which was done after lunch! I swear, I was half-asleep when the paper was going on, cos at one point in time, I actually slept on my essay! But the funny thing was, I was still writing, just that I was not that aware. And when I woke up, prolly 10 seconds later, I saw the line, "The monster ate the hamster." Haha. Nice one, Sharkie. The thing is, I can still spell when I'm sleeping! I should get into SpellCast for this.

And of course, the infamous PTM yesterday. My gawd, it was really troublesome! Me and pappy had to wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait till dunno-how-long just to see one teacher. There's some parents who took damn long just to talk to the teacher, and obviously, the child was getting restless cos the teacher is revealing too much about the child's conduct in school and whatnots. Surprisingly, I didn't take that long for every teacher. Just on average, 15 minutes, compared to some parents, who took 45 minutes! Woah. The child must be really bad! Basically, I could only come to a few conclusions about what my tutors said about me. 1) I can't study from mindmaps for nuts, 2) I have a big problem with applications, 3) I am playful during the first term per se. Haha. Partly true, but hey, I'm serious already what!

Yesterday was also MLDDS' handover. Ahmad Bukhari, or more famously named, AB, got the president job. Thank goodness it was a guy who got it! Cos you see, AB's a really level-headed person, not that affected by moodswings and stuff, so I have full confidence that he's gonna do his job well. Aisyah got the VP job, which befits her, cos, well, she's always the welfare-kind of person. Naqiah got the secretary post, while Erlinna got the dunno-what-it's called job, prolly the logistics or something like that. So, anyways, Sharkie would like to wish you guys all the best in handling the demands of handling the various kerenahs of the various types of ML J1s we have in AJ! Haha..May you guys succeed!

And of course, I must specially thank AB for allowing me to talk to him during the time we set up the laptop. Lots of insightful stuff, and of course, lots of crap! I suddenly realise AB is really wise, just that he hides it beneath that good-guy-go-to-masjid-everyday facade. And oh yah, AB is full of crap with the people who befriends him (such as me!), hahah. So yo AB, be happy I didn't call you at night when you forced me to watch that cerita merepek ha! (And lots of other jokes, thanks AB!) AB's a really sweet guy, cos you know, he gave me sweets!

And the new GP teacher who comes from Australia is really lame. Momo said he told his students this when they were doing something on identity, "In Australia, there are 20,000 people without names. They're called BABIES." HAHA! I would have broken my intestines just laughing. :) :) :)

And I have a personal dislike for my GP lecturer. Boo!

I think the Live Earth concert is a waste of money and resources. Look at it this way. The purpose is to raise awareness on climate change, yet they are doing a mega concert which involves electricity which can light up 10 powerhouses! Like wee! Is that cool or what? Not. So contradictory to their cause. And what's more, I noticed that when the people left, they left their excesses behind, i.e. their litter. So tell me, has the message really sunk in yet?

I thought maybe this would interest the math geniuses of the world.
I
On a given finite line
Which must no way incline;
To describe an equi -
- lateral Tri -
- A,N,G,E,L,E.
Now let A.B.
Be the given line
Which must no way incline;
The great Mathematician
Makes this Requisition,
That we describe an Equi -
- lateral Tri -
- angle on it;
Aid us Reason - aid us Wit!

Boy, if Math was in this form, I think I'll prolly get negative 100 marks. Now, doesn't that makes us appreciate Math in numbers and algebra better, eh?

I'm MP3-less. It feels kinda lonely without it. But I'm not complaining, because I know that it is in safe hands.

Have you ever felt the same way as I do? I hope you do. And I hope you are well. I'll be waiting, and I hope you are too.

Lots of things have been happening since the past four days. There's been like lots of shortages from exam results (aye, they suck so badly, they might as well burn themselves with the red marks), sister came home from KL and talking non-stop about who's cute and who's bimbotic and whatnots, and of course, my rigorous (it's made like that, so can't blame me) revision plans for up till August. Damn. The year passed on really slowly, I must say. It's like endless hours in school, with so little sleeping time, I might as well not sleep. Aye, I'm complaining, but there's a limit I can take. And oh, no more social life, I guess, cos exam results suck so badly. Initially, I need a break, but now, if whenever I want a break, I have to think twice, calculate the opportunity cost, and then proceed with whatever decision that comes out of it. Sucks so badly.

On a happy note, I wanted to type something fantasical, but I forgot about what it was. Something which I think I talked to Fitrah about. I think it was about dresses, or was it prom? Or castles? Haha. Memory's failing on me, and I hate the feeling.

Anyways, I was just browsing through Darren's (my primary school bestie) profile yesterday, and boy, has he grown a lot! But his looks remain the same. I wonder why. I remember he used to tease me when I failed my science, cos there's this one time when I got a 57 (in those days, having a 57 for science is bad!) but I refused to tell him my marks. And you know la, teachers like to put the total mark for every page at the bottom right hand corner of the page, right? So, this smart ass Darren Anwar (or later nicknamed by me to be Darren Aqua, cos he's such a metrosexual) counted my marks from the start of me flipping through page by page right till the very end. And I remember he used to say this when I'm done flipping, "Oh, you get 57 right?" And then he laughed. Lol. I think he got a 76, if I'm not wrong.

Right now, I really miss Darren. A lot. But he's in the UK, studying there, cos initially, after P6, he was supposed to go to Catholic High, but he transferred to Britain. Oh my gawd. I really miss Aqua a lot sehh..

Pak Su's wedding was okay, it was smooth-going and all, but I can't definitely say that I enjoyed myself to the very max because of very complicated reasons which I shan't reveal here, huahuahua. So anyways, the reception at the museum on Saturday was fantastic, and there were lots of professional decorations hanging around, the dais was really pretty and big, and the jellies were really nice. Haha..I was looking at the food more than the bride and groom, I think. And oh, some really pretty eye candies. Lots of 'em. Though about 80% of them banquet servers were mats, but they looked really good, plus they were really sweet! >< Especially this mat in green, like oh-am-gee, check out his arms, hunny! And I hadn't wished that I took a photo, so you know, it's just a passing thing. Like just passing uh. Nothing more. Anyways, I thought pak su was really nervous when he 'declared' the solemnisation thingie, cos he said it all too fast, apart from the fact that the bride's name was long, and I mean really long, plus she's a Sharifah, so there's like dozens of other Sharifahs and Syeds from amongst her family members, but I couldn't care less kind of thing. She was rather, well, solemn, and sad, cos of dunno-what-reasons-which-I-don't-intend-to-know. And I wore an Arab jubah. A long dress. Very pretty. Very Victorian at the same time, with tassles at the front and sides, and really nice material, very cooling. For once, I really felt like a Sharifah. Very Arab. :) :)

For the reception on Sunday, I wore pink. Yes. Everybody's favourite colour. It was a really sweet reception, and luckily, it rained, cos we were all very stuffed out from wearing all those clothes. Yes, it was more of humid than hot. God knows how many glasses of punch I drank, cos really, I can't count them myself. I sort of floated from table to table, just talking to people, and really, I don't mean to brag or anything, but I find myself so easily acquainted with people within the first 10 seconds. Ok, so it was partly superficial, but you know, you have to be nice to the oldies and all that, respect beb, respect! But thank God for cousins like Fatin who came around and hung around and chatted with me. So thank you for that dear. And yes, there's this particular cousin of mine, who came with her cousin, and me oh my, I can't help looking at how beefy he is! Really, if I may say so, he looks really good, plus he's a nice fella. The thing is, I can't remember his name. :) :) :)

Ok, I'm lethargic already. I'm having the sneezes now, so I'd better go off before I have to disinfect the keyboard and the screen! Lola!

There has been many a personality tests conducted online or in schools. For instance, in school last year, we had to go through this MBTI personality workshop where we're given a questionnaire and they will access our personalities from there. I don't think any personality test is really 100% accurate, because look at it this way, when we were given the questionnaire, we are given options, right? And we are supposed to pick the option that best suits our interests. However, this is flawed. We pick the options because we envision our world to be perfect in our own perception, and we pick the option because we want to look good doing it. Get the drift? It's more of a perception thingie, rather than a real-I'm-gonna-do-it-for-sure thingie. The matter's a bit iffy, or contentious, may I say. But seriously, that's where the flaw is. For instance, when I got back my results for the MBTI workshop, my personality is capped at ESTJ. Ok, so what was that? It means that I am a practical, realistic, matter-of-fact, decisive, quickly move to implement decisions, organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting the results in the most efficient way possible, take care of routine details, having a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also, and of course, forceful in implementing their actions. Now, doesn't that make me look like a woman with an iron fist? Like a Hilary Clinton replica, might I add? While I can vouch that on certain occasions, I do come across as what's stated above, but that only happens under really extreme and special circumstances, and those around me, particularly my JC mates, prolly would say that this is a side of me that rarely comes out within the two years I am there. So, you might scoff. Maybe she's just putting on an act. But let me question you back. How long can an act last? Is anybody that good an actor to be that 'sincere' for 2 years? Really. Perhaps what we really need now is a personality check within ourselves, and not follow what has been 'destined' for us. Because after all, personality tests only can either make you feel good, or bad, about yourself. In essence, it is what is in your heart that counts. So, hello ESTJ! Never mind if you don't understand the last sentence. Me neither.

So, nothing much has been happening these past few days, or rather, nothing worth remembering, hence the total lack of posts. Well, save for the annual career and scholarship fair, which should be the main topic for today, and of course, the systematic disaster which I received over some test results. ><

Anyways, the career and scholarship fair held yesterday was pretty exciting, save for the fact that dear Carl keeps emphasising that he is a Duke and I'm the Chambermaid promoted to Lady soon after, with Isyah dear as the Duchess. Whatever that makes you happy uh Carl. Oops, I meant CARL, DUKE OF AJC. Hahaw..Went through a couple of talks, the first being the talk on education in UK, but I realised that I must be really rich or really clever in order to study there, which sadly, I'm neither. So, goodbye UK education. Hello Australia! Oh wait, pappy says that there is a glimpse of hope for me to study in UK, you know, to study you-know-what, so hopefully, they'll accept me. :) :) :) Apart from that, the universities in UK look a lot like major castles, and I'm talking about castles in medieval era, not modern castles like the white-turning-grey Istana. You get my drift. Those castles-cum-universities were simply so majestic, and so breathtaking, that I really thought that for once, I am going to live in there.

After that talk, I proceeded to, what else, the National Council of Social Services talk. Okay, let me make this clear. Even though I was from St John's, that does not necessarily mean that I like working with people a lot. I don't. Well, sometimes, that is. I prefer to do things at my own pace. That's about it. And about the issue of helping, well, it all depends on my mood, but I can safely say that if I'm gonna take care of you, I'm going to do it properly, and that if I don't intend to help you at all, I'll leave you aside. I know it's mean, but it's me, I guess. Only close buds know who I really am, I guess.

Then, the last talk of the day was by the SPH. This guy, he's a reporter, and he's really cool about it. Rau kept saying that he looks like Haizad from the side, but I don't quite agree on that, cos I only saw him face front. Then, when I got a closer look, he ain't really that good-lookin' afterall yo! Just ordinary. That's all. He's got really thick eyebrows, though.

Ah well, maybe in the end, I might do well, get into some good university, and earn lots of money and buy myself a Porsche at the end of it all. Then maybe I'll be really happy. :D :D :D

By the way, my bro's really funny and goondooo sometimes. We received a plastic bag filled with rambutans from our ex-neighbour, and when I asked him what's in it, he said, "Random Access Memory Butan."Geddit? RAMbutan. Which is really jokey, and lame, if you ask me. Seriously...