I found some witty excuses for not answering phone calls. See if you find them extraordinary. Here goes...

If, for instance, this girl called Lydia wanted to speak to Jess, Jess' brother, Arthur, would say...

a) Lydia, hi. This is Arthur. I'm very sorry to inform you that due to a sudden onset of coma, Jess has found herself infirm. We'll notify you if anything changes.

b) Lydia, hi. This is Arthur. I'm very sorry to inform you that some cloning experts for the human genome project have just sequestered Jess. She'll be out in thirty-seven years. Would you like me to take your personal information? I could contact you in 2043 if you'd like.

c) Lydia, hi. This is Arthur. I'm very sorry to inform you that Jess has just donated all her skin to science. She's sitting in the sun, drying out. We'll have her get back to you when she's aerated.

So, what do you think? I thought the last one was pretty funny.

oh crap.