OKAY I KNOW THAT I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ONLINE, BUT NEVERMIND. A FIVE MINUTE QUICK UPDATE WOULD NOT HURT, WOULD IT? YES, FIVE MINUTES, AND I'LL BE OFFLINE. NO CYBER-LOAFING, I PROMISE, MA... :D

Revision is going well, ahead of plans, so yep, I am so proud of myself. Now is just a matter of polishing up whatever rusty analysis (yes, my course requires millions of that) that needs to be cleared. Then, I'm ready to face the big A's. Whoa, it seems like a compliment for myself, so heh. :) :) You know what? I even feel like I am excited to take exams, which is really incredulous, seeing that I have NEVER been excited for any tests or exams, save for a few addition and subtraction math tests, and of course, some English exams. Haha. Weird. And I haven't been watching teevee, so don't ask what's on and what's not. And of course, not forgetting that I have erased the urge to blog (now it has become a 'chore' instead of a 'fad'. Lol.), so kudos to me.

I am so hyperinflated right now. I feel so good, prolly because Mr Z has brushed off some of his 'youthful vigour' on me. It's so funny, that someone online can actually make you feel a whole lot better. I think I got rid of some of the stress just by talking. Haha. Now, don't get me wrong, I like solitude, but sometimes, having company is better. I guess cooping myself up at home has taught me how to be independent (ok, a whole lot more independent), and be responsible for my actions at home. Ok, I don't see any relevance, so I don't know where that came from. And to think that I personally know Mr Z. Tsk.

Ok, five minutes is up! Gotta hit the notes and start memorizing on the nitty-gritty details! Till then, I shall be alive (yes, very much alive) after the A's end. I promise.

NO CYBER-LOAFING!!!!

Salam to all,

I think this may be my last post until the A levels end. Can you believe it?! 24 days to the start of A's, 5 days to Farewell Assembly, and 6 days to Hari Raya. It's that mugging-festivemood-sad feeling that I'm really experiencing right now. Ok, so mugging may not be a feeling, but studies just turn me waayyy on these days. I guess I so badly want to do well for the A's, do my parents proud, and get decent results to get into a university, no matter where it may be. My mum once said, "Dunia ni bumi Allah, rezeki ada dimana-mana." There is some truth in that. If we do not do as well as we hoped for the A's, don't worry, there's always some place where we can shine, it doesn't just have to be confined in Singapore. Therefore, the moral of the story is, just focus on the big A's, and insya-Allah, Allah will take care of the things following it. He always does.

With that said, and with the overwhelming sadness that I'm experiencing due to the fact that I will be leaving my dearest friends soon for study break, I'd just like to say a little something. Thank you friends, for being there for me all the time throughout my years in AJC. I know I have not done much to deserve you people, but I'll just have you know that all of you occupy a special place in my heart. There's no words to describe just how much each of you means to me, neither I feel that it is necessary to write an entire volume like Tarling did, because there isn't enough space for all my gratitude. You guys have been the greatest things that has ever happened to me thus far in AJC. I know I may have said bad stuff about you guys at some point in time, but really, I didn't mean all that I said. It was just in a midst of anger and upset that made me rant bad things about you guys. Forgive me if I haven't been able to be a good friend to you, for I am a terrible person who does not know how to console those who need a shoulder to lean on. The least I could do is to listen to your problems, but other than that, I think I can't do much. In any case, you guys are really special. I will treasure the moments we share in Anderson for as long as I live, because they say that JC friends last longer than any other friends. Thank you friends, for going through hell and suicide with me, because I think I may just explode if you guys weren't there for me when I am so overcome with studies and all. Thanks for the little gifts and the tiny words of courage that you guys shower on me. I know I haven't done much, and I'll extend my apologies on that. Thank you friends, for showing me how to break the rules and open my eyes to the world of youth 'delinquancy' and showing me the other side of life - the darker side - that I have not seen before. In other words, thank you friends, for showing me how to be street-wise, which I think I am a big goondoo at. I know I have lots of faults, but I hope you can pardon me on that. Lastly, thank you friends, for the sweetest moments that you have shared with me. I appreciate all that.

Ok, enough of the emo-ing. You know, I can't really bear to leave all my friends behind, but for the sake of my future, I must. I gotta, I hafta.

And then, when the A levels end and we have done ourselves sufficiently proud, we can all enjoy ourselves to our hearts' content. I shan't get started on what those would be, but I'm sure we'll find ways around that.

Lastly, to those taking the A's, just remember this little piece of advice from me:
"Just remember to put in your best effort. Whatever the result may be, don't fret so much about it. Allah will take care of it, because it is only He who knows what is best for us. In our pursuit of studying, don't forget that Allah still exists, and we must constantly share our thoughts with Him in our prayers, because everything will fall in place neatly, and Allah will ensure that. The most important thing now is, Kita mesti redha dengan ketentuan Allah s.w.t. Have faith in Him, and He will show you the way."

Wassalam.

When I was a little girl, I loved playing with Barbie dolls. You name it, I had it. From the Holiday barbie, to the barbie princess, I think the main reason as to why I was able to stick through thick and thin with barbie was because it seemed as an outlet for me to enter into another dimension. Really, it is as if with barbie, I am able to imagine myself transcending into a different world, where there's the existence of prince charming and the big beautiful grand castle. And also, the fact that I can imagine myself dressing up in barbie's really fashionable clothes. It seemed so real for me. In a way, interacting with barbie seemed like a form of escapism for me. I can imagine myself as pretty as barbie, living in a fairytale, with the good and the evil coexisting side by side. It seemed like such a beautiful idea.

I had momentarily forgotten about barbie when cabbage patch babies and the Bratz dolls came into the picture. However, I knew that barbie would inevitably be a part of my life, whether it was sooner or later. I adored dressing barbie's hair, considering that I had hair that long back in primary school. And oh, I do remember loving her blonde locks. And yes, a confession here, but I really thought that Ken doll is really hot. Heh. Hence, I guess from the interaction between myself and barbie and her dream world, I began to appreciate beauty even more, and taken a huge interest in all things impossible.

The interest in barbie dolls revived during Childrens' Day yesterday. There was the showing of 'Barbie as the Island Princess' on Kids Central. I don't know whether you guys saw it, but to me, as I watched that an hour and a half movie, I felt like I was a kid once again. Only this time, I had my baby cousin watching with me, and we kind of share dreams about how pretty barbie is, and how we both wanted to be princesses in our own right.

Maybe the question of whether we are princesses really lies in ourselves. I know that you do not need to be a part of the royal family in order to be a princess officially. What it does matter is that you have a good heart, in which everyone is able to accept you, and of course, the air of elegance as you walk past. To me, every girl is a princess in their own right, whether they noticed or not.

And yes, in the movie, barbie's name is Rosella. I think it's a very princessy name. I thought the name of the evil queen of another kingdom, which is Ariana, is pretty too, but considering the fact that she has an ugly character, I think otherwise. Maybe when I meet a nice real-life Ariana, then I would revert to my old thinking.

In the meantime, I'm gonna do some night-dreaming and pull myself out of all these stress (which is hovering on dangerously high levels), and escape into the world of barbie.

And believe it or not, but I think barbie is hiding in some cupboard somewhere. It's time to look for her.

"And they live happily ever after..."